i sent a severed horses head from a remote location in... er... scotland to my home address a couple of weeks ago. I forget I sent it and managed to scare myself when I opened my mail the other day :p



Poor Klaus. If you look at his little eyes, it's almost as if he understands...

i sent an e-mail from my work address to my home address a couple of weeks ago. I forgot i sent it and managed scare myself when i looked at my mail the other day :P

the "unpredictable range of queries" is certainly worrying...

6 Senior Library Assistant
Location: Bournemouth, Dorset
Salary: 14196-15372 a
Date posted: 30/10/2003

Job description: BUILDING A BETTER Leisure & Tourism Directorate SENIOR LIBRARY ASSISTANT Southbourne Library Ref: LI0105, £14,196 - £15,372 per annum, Grade: BG2b, 37 hours per week Are you enthusiastic, committed and looking for a challenge?
More details Send to a friend

7 Relief Library Assistant
Location: Bournemouth, Dorset
Salary: 5.90-8 h
Date posted: 30/10/2003

Job description: BUILDING A BETTER RELIEF LIBRARY ASSISTANT (Up to four vacancies, various hours as required) Ref: LI0123, £5.90 per hour, Grade: BG1c Scale Point 8 If you are enthusiastic about working with people of all ages, enjoy books, are not afraid of computers and are available to work across ...
More details Apply for job Send to a friend

8 Library Assistant
Location: Bournemouth, Dorset
Salary: 12987-13863 a
Date posted: 30/10/2003

Job description: BUILDING A BETTER LIBRARY ASSISTANT Ref: LI0053, £12,987 - £13,863 per annum, Grade: BG2a, 37 hours per week Do you want to serve your community and help a wide range of people? Can you respond calmly and effectively to an unpredictable range of enquiries?
More details Send to a friend

is it just me, or does anyone else find the last 2 adverts disturbing? :P

From the search phrases, we're getting, step 3 would seem to be Macbeth, although it's probably really "porn".

Though I almost feel sorry for people who come here looking for "and the right valiant banquo walk'd too late".

At least it's not stealing underpants.

And who submitted us to that German forum site we got 40 referrals from?

Heh - Sounds like Microsoft BusinessTechnique™:

1. Put in minimal cash, thought and effort to a project


2. Assign a team of trained monkeys with spreadsheets to the task


3. ... (to be confirmed) ...


4. PROFIT!

Or sommat like that ;)

wishful thinking

oops... me was dividing my money by 30 whilst budgeting for a 31 day month :P

meh! i tried creating a spreadsheet to budget my money this month (i was incredibly bored!). I put in £60 as a test and it's telling me i have £62 spare at the end after not spending anything. meh! decimal rounding! meh!

wow

Impressive...

About this big.

But then, if you think about it, bits that big are getting from Eastleigh, all the way up into the air, and then all the way over to Waltham Chase...

How BIG are the bits? :-/

"... all twisted metal stretching upwards ... everything washed in a thin orange haze ..."

Bloody hell.

"the skyline was beautiful on fire..." - Godspeed You! Black Emperor

We've got bits of this coming down in our garden. In Waltham Chase. So this is really, really quite big. Anyone heard from Alex lately? Or has he burned to death?

Hm. Bzzt.

Probably. That's ok then Linda - I can almost definitely make any weeknight. If you tell me in advance, I might be able to drag extra interesting people along too.

Jimmy: should I be lightning-proofing cappy at this point?

I have Toby withdraw symptoms *huggles*

thank you jimmy :P

I will sort out cinema outing when i know what hours i'm working, they've offered me some overtime, but i don't know what days/times yet. I can't go next sat due to a firework display i said i'd go to with parents, so it'll probly be an evening during the week sometime after the 5th :)

linda "....Christmas...may be forced... ....trees... stick the creators of... ...festivities firmly on top".

It's already been done, dear. It involves nails.

And that group viewing of yours... oh, forget it.

Hmm... if the adverts on TV keep up their Christmas brainwashing, i may be forced to go decorate pine trees and stick the creators of any festivities firmly on top :P It's still October!!

I'm up for a group viewing as soon as toby's feeling better :)

The Technical is momentarily down while I put the new layout on. Sorry.

Bit far for me :-/

Nice to see someone else is as excited about Revolutions as I am... anyone up for an outing? (Not of the "she's a witche! burne her!" type. More a "lets go see revolutions"... oh... just forget it).

But then I'm excited about the new Holly Valance single, so that doesn't really say much about Revolutions...

And yes, i am bored :P Short Loans is a very quiet section, but at least this desk has a computer with internet access :)

Ah, Toby lives! :P
Toby: Is O2 playing up or have you just not looked at your mobile 4 a while? :P Are you back at uni yet or still at home? Am i seeing you tomorrow? :P

hmm...this weather would be ok if i didn't have to spend every morning defrosting on solent blue line! :P

actually....the matrix is out on the 5th.... :D OK, we skip november AFTER we've seen the Matrix!

Dammit, Jimmy, if I read too much of that I may have to cast myself from my window into outer Durham Darkness, where there is a wailing and a gnashing of teeth (and that's just the band in the bar). The bit about cupid's arrows... dammit, get out of my head, whoever you are ;)

"... most people seem to forget that cupid had two arrows ..."

Quoting oneself is very very egotistical though, I cannot help but feel. Oh well.

Am very glad I'm NOT in Stoneham; the proxy is back.

Oh, and the fire alarms weren't over-sensitive. The popcorn was merely rather... toasty, I gather.

H. P. Lovecraft Historical Society's "The Carol of the Old Ones" is rather nice. I have a feeling I might do something musical that steals a few ideas from it. Perhaps not about the Old Ones, and perhaps slightly slower. But roughly the same.

Also:

My tear ducts work like aquifers and the current of pain causes my eyes to shoot out like a dormant animal's enraged climax. Somewhat along the lines of the ManWhoFellAsleep Journal...

Oh, the overenthusiastic (fill in blank here) cookery... I remember that one... Just be grateful you don't live on the second to top floor of Stoneham Halls. Walking 15 floors down to just get out of the building, then spending half an hour in the freezing January cold, then walking all the way up again must be one of the worst things, ever. (Stoneham's fire alarms were also over-sensitive. Lovely.)

Oh, and I love the last sentance of Toby's post to tiny little bits. How's your proxy, Rob?

Methinks November is one of those months that really can't make up its mind - damp and frosty at the same time isn't nice.

Mind you, September is worse. Any given month should contain no more than two freak weather types - snow followed by galeforce wind is an ok combination, as is sheet rain followed by a heatwave. September has, however, proven in the past that all four of the above are possible in the space of a few days. Not nice :P

On the plus side, freak weather conditions are pretty to watch, especially when accompanied by fresh popcorn and a large, fluffy duvet :)

It's colder here ;) Although with somewhat fewer fireworks [fire alarms going off at 2am due to over-enthusiastic popcorn nonwithstanding]

Yes. And it's cold too.

Anyone who is very, very bored might want to try looking around Leinir's completely redone website.

Can't we just skip November? Nothing much happens in November except fireworks - if you go to the flowers estate that happens every day anyway :P

Methinks wearing pigeons would just be messy!! :P

I was going to post something clever, but I can't remember what it was...

The web proxy is going slightly skewiff...

Sorry, no, of course not.

The chickens are much more convenient, are they not?

I am not wearing a fricking pigeon on my head! :P

Toby: Hard disc discussion has been moved to the technical maggot.

Hats with feathers... hm... Toby, you know you're good at catching pigeons? ;)

Wow! We actually have a Cappy ;)

Rob: WTF was up with the MP3 drive that managed to bork the system that comprehensively? Oh, and your server news script (http://capsicum.loomroom.co.uk/news.php) doesn't, and hasn't for some time - not vital, but irritating nonetheless.

Apologies for not posting for quite a while - I haven't had internet access at the house up until two days ago. Expect slightly more regular postings from yours truly from hence forth.

Oh, and Jimbly: As I've already stated before, I'm quite prepared to wear a hat with a feather, provided someone else buys it and said hat doesn't look cheap and tacky. I have yet to find anywhere that could provide such a garment, so I'm guessing you'd either have to order online (dunno where from), or spend an absolute fortune and get a proper hat-maker to make one to order.

alas and woe is me...

oh, and cappy's back

:P Not paid yet!! :P

Not paid yet? Awww... Or just stingey?

If only i could afford to....

I know exactly what you mean.

Have you STILL not bought toby a hat? And toby, have you still not agreed to wear it proudly as a symbol of your HOTTNESS?

Why can't Pirates of the Carribbean be on DVD now??!! Must purchase it soon.... mmm... feathery hat.... :D

Could I suggest to anyone intending to see Kill Bill that instead they should wait until both Volume One and Volume Two are out on DVD, and watch them on sucessive evenings? You'll enjoy them better that way.

I just found NECRO ENEMA AMALGAMATED's fully illustrated Shockwave guide to performing sexual acts on paraplegics and quadriplegics. I don't think I should link it from here.

White Ninja is quite good.

Toby - you're the only one even remotely geographically near - what, Sir, has happened?

In case you ever wondered?

Is anyone likely to fix this soon?

Is anyone likely to read this soon?

Could someone please explain to me what Rob means/is on? Oh, and, why did I find ...oh no, maybe I won't ask. (this is a scan of something I physically have)

Honestly, jimmy, Sir, wake up!

s/waffle/badger/

Those eyes! Those terrible eyes!

Rob: What teh f**k?

Toby: This is true, it would be a certain challenge. I can't PS full stop, so...

Jimmy: Waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! ... took me about five minutes to work out that that was all it did.... I plead tiredness && incompetence mushroom.

cheesey want ethernet...

Jimmy: Please ignore my waffle about MSN - I haven't been reading the Warbeck often enough :P

Rob: Granite isn't hard, although granite wrapped around a 3D object using only Photoshop might be considerably more taxing. Either way, I'm a little busy to Photoshop anything ATM :P

Meh. Why is it now, that I no longer have any (well, much) fear of sharp instruments, that I keep having accidents? Could it be because I now have no fear of 'em, and this is therefore a Good Thing? It's a bloody nuisance...

mmm, a statue of a large black maggot... how're your fake dark granite photoshopping skillz?

*wanders off to find a plaster*

Also can someone organise something social. I am bored.

Toby - I'm confused - where is this explanation of why I can't use MSN?

I like the "The" in front of the large black maggot that is Technical. It gives it a much more appealing feel.

Thanks for:

<rehash>

Oh - also -

Jimmy: PHP discussion has been moved to The Technical Maggot. And I think I prefer the idea of you as root to one as God - I seem to remember that early UNIces sometimes had "avatar" instead of root, which gives a much nicer idea of the sort of unholy power that `root` wields:

$ su
Password:
[God@Universe God] # echo muahahahaha
muahahahaha

</rehash>

You can open the tag now, if you like.

Muahahahaha.

[edit: Ethernet in my room is actually mildly br0ked at the moment. I will return...]

Rob will be back online in about two days. He sends hugs to you all.

You can call me God, then. I'm running messenger 5 fine on this XP box. And, ok, it's not version 6, but then if you seriously want to use 6 you're really quite sick and twisted.

It puzzles me why they don't use 2K, which as we all know, is really much nicer. Anyone who disagrees with me here *will* be shot.

I'm taking in a copy of an allready installed MSN Messenger 5 tomorrow, on the offchance that it might work. It's a long shot, but who knows?

Also, I imagine Vicky would like to know if there is any way at all to make Shockwave games work properly on the XP boxes. Shockwave is (apparently) installed on the XP machines, or so the ISS website tells me, and Vicky's even successfully (sp? who cares. I care not for spelling. I am above mere language) reinstalled it, and IE on there still doesn't recognize it's there. I wouldn't mind if I could get it running on Firebird instead. But I've never been able to get shockwave working with firebird on any computer.

I hate computers sometimes...

Yup, looks like you're stuck with Trillian. XP actually has (as I have proved to myself very conclusively in the past hour or so) a security system, so you'd have to be root to install anything on those boxen that requires drivers. Unfortunately, MSN, in its infinite wisdom, requires quite a few registry settings, a smattering of DLLs and a horrid collection of interactive GUI flavored whazznames. In short, it won't work unless you are God :P

Those who, like me, have much too much time on my hands... er... that's none of you then... well, if you did, you'd go visit TV Dregs because it's a) british b) written by people who are professional comedians whose jobs are to make you laugh, often on tv c) actually quite original, er, and not much else.

Someone else will post eventually. I hope.

Toby - How do we get vanilla MSN working on the uni computers (we're on the XP ones in the maths department)? Ideally I'd like MSN Messenger 5 too. With the ads removed. And a pony. Or are we going to be stuck on the uglyness that is Trillian for the rest of the year?

I really ought to post on here less, too.

Please whatever you do, make sure you don't miss the next few episodes of "Magick" on Channel 4. This really is the best programme in TV at the moment. Imagine combining David Blaine (or actually Paul Zenon, but most people haven't heard of him) and Jam. I can't describe it any better than that.

Rob - PHP isn't working on anura, it seems - both vickyc.co.uk and files.chf.com are serving pages, but only as plain HTML and not seeing the PHP. When you have a moment, could you tell me what I'm doing wrong or talk to Higher Powers and get this sorted? Thanks.

They Hunger would be a boring standard HL mod with zombies in if it wasn't for one thing - the zombies are actually interesting. They're stuck in some kind of perpetual search for meaning. In between the cries of ".....fleeeesshhhhh" and "......hungeerrrrrr" you get little whispers in afraid voices of "why do we hunger?". The head crabs run around saying in tiny little voices "where are you? where are you?" There's a female zombie that whispers "mummy's... hungry." at you if it sees you, and every time you hurt it, it gasps (in a really husky, sexual voice) in pleasure till it dies. Whoever made it is really messed up.

Edit: it goes well with ASMZ too.

If anyone is bored -

could someone write me a short story beginning with the line "When I grew my hair long, people always told me it looked fake" and ending with the line "we had to kill your son. He knew too much."

yay, i can now truthfully say i've been institutionalised!


well, i could if it wasn't such a long word :P

Rob: Methinks Smalltalk is not an immediate priority, since I've got a university degree (read: "ugnh" if speaking Jimbleese) to continue as from Monday, so won't have a great deal of time to play with code.

Argh! I'm back at Uni!

Well.

first it's a micro. Then you "expand" it and it becomes a macro. If it carries on expanding much more, you get rupture.

When is the timely moment to expand one's macro, then?